Saturday, December 17, 2005

The first article

I made this while I was in Starbucks in Araneta Center, Cubao. I was just inspired on the spot on what I see there. Well, at least something to do after 2 hours of nerve wrecking Jose Rizal finals. I got to edit this article once I arrived home.

Observing the coffee shop hype


The coffee shop, it is the status quo of today’s society. It is a norm these days. Almost every one for sure, had been to one. For some people, it is part of their daily routine, maybe another way to kill time to spend the day or night with someone. Whatever reasons people have, going to a coffee shop is the way to go.

Coffee shops evolve and grow in a rapid rate every year. I can pass by one once I stepped out of my house, and pass by another one as soon as I arrived in my destination. The whole metro alone has many coffee shops. From the mainstream Starbucks, Seattle’s Best and Coffee bean & Tea leaf, to the few branches of Figaro (since I rarely see one) and the Australian based Mocha Blends. Plus the fact that there are a lot of local coffee shops that opens and splurge out in every school and business areas. Anywhere you go, for every 800 meters to a mile, you can spot a coffee shop.

Everyone is a coffee addict. I myself, admit to be one. So everyone goes to these establishments to have a treat of their favorite coffee or maybe a tea. But for me, going to coffee shop has a lot of reasons. It is not just for the sake of going there to have a dosage of caffeine. For this, we will talk about the reasons of people and social effects that it brings. All facts that are written here are all based on my observations and experience hanging out in a coffee shop.


The social effect of the coffee havens.


I find it odd that these coffee shops are always full with people everyday. I can see one sitting in a chair having their coffee with friends, or even a person hanging out and reading a book (I find it odd and funny to see one). People go here in numbers, that it is so ironic that these said establishments are more like a church (ouch! That just hits me!). If only the church has the option or decide to change their mass venues, they will definitely choose the coffee shops.

Well it is not bad nor is it good to be here. That will depend on the person who goes there. If you go to church as you go to coffee shops religiously, then good for you. But this will really hit hard for the people who are ignoring some responsibilities of their different aspects in life like self, social, religious responsibilities (I am one of those people who miss their religious responsibilities I have to admit). It is now a saddening fact that people in a so much fast-paced society, who are always on the go, have time to fall in line for a grandè latte for 15 minutes while missing out the 15 minutes that they should focus on something else. Well everything has its pros and cons. One has just to weigh things out on how to manage everything they do. I will not go on further on these topics, as I feel guilty about it.


The reasons behind the coffee shops.


But what’s up with these establishments? I mean, why are they so “hot” these days. It is more like a Beatles era where people go gaga over them. Right now, as I was writing this article in my scratch book in a coffee shop, I came to different people on how they utilize their time in a coffee shop. I realized as to why people go to these places.

For one, I saw people most of the time if I’m passing by or spending my 2 hours in a coffee shop, reading books. As Sean Connery said in the movie Finding Forrester, “people read books just to get laid.” I agree for what he said. That is my viewpoint. People go there and read books because they want to get laid. It is more like someone reading a newspaper in a train over rush hour, so other people think they are cool and that is cute. Yeah, I may sound like I’m generalizing here, but why would someone, in all places, read a book in a coffee shop filled with people who are nothing compared to a Dolby digital sound system in cinemas? Read it somewhere else! Read it in the comfort of your own home, in your room, much better if you do it in a library, but never, ever, in a coffee shop. This goes to anyone who read books in public utility vehicles.

For sure, people will react to what I had said. They will rebut with something like “Then why write something in a coffee shop?” Simple answer, it is a different thing. People tend to write in everywhere. It is an accepted and known fact that people write in public places. I write everywhere, coffee shops included. It is my way where I can take down notes about things that just came in my mind so I won’t forget them. Bottom line is, writing in coffee shops is a different thing and it is ok to do it.

Another observation will be that coffee shops became a “social tool”. People go there to social for whatever reasons they have. People utilize these establishments to meet people and gather up to socialize. It became a medium for people to do their social responsibilities. Funny fact about it is that people don’t go on a date with someone in restaurants or those cheesy romantic places. They do it in coffee shops over a treat of Sumatra-Decaf and Sulawesi. Another unique thing with coffee shops is that it became the new conference room for the corporate world. Executives do a client meeting or they go over business proposals in these places.

People have a lot of specific reasons on going to the so-called coffee havens. One of them is to unwind, or to chill as what the yuppies will say. They go there and have a dose of Rhumba Frappuccino and an oatmeal cookie. Sitting there, chilling out, having a sip, and smoking a cigarette! Definitely a killer combo for these yuppies. A new way to let out the stress they got at work.


Reasons by gender


Aside from the general reasons as to why people go to coffee shops, Let us talk about the reasons for each gender or sexual preferences. First off, the women. Women go there to have a certain chill out style of spending a day, or to go there with a date or meet their friends (so as to men). But as I has observed, women go there with a different reasons at the same time. They go there to flaunt their new hairstyle, or their rebounded hair. You will notice these women fix their hair and look at their mirror every 30 minutes or so. Even to a point that they are wearing those new released designs from Bayo or Plains & Prints. Showing off those sexy and skin revealing clothes. Where men would stare at them for minutes, if not, for time to time.

But what is more exciting whenever I’m at these places are observing how the third sex (yup, the gays and the lesbians), go try their luck. Whatever their intentions are. I mostly observe these people as they go alone or in a group and try their luck by, approaching one and talking to that person and hit on them. This goes to men and women too. But it is funny to see these unique people do their thing. I got my own experience about it (some are good and most are worst!); even a friend of mine has a funny side of her story about it. Well, as I had said before, it is a medium for socialization. Flirting is included.

My most exciting observation is about men going to coffee shops. Yes, us. Where some (the geek and the feeling geek) with their books and reading glasses combined. The cool and the feeling cool men hanging around just to dig some chicks. Men go there for one primary reason, to do some sight seeing. They stay there for hours, just for the sake of fulfilling their eyes with almost naked clad women in their most alluring and skin revealing clothes. Trying out their luck to meet one and maybe, just maybe met one “Eve” to get their hormones up and running… again. Just by going there, hanging out and looking at these women gives such a delight for men. (I included)


So-called conclusion


These facts are enough for us to be amazed and still go to coffee shops. Whatever our own reasons are, our day won’t be enough if we haven’t been to one; at least once a month. Truly coffee shops had change the way people live. It has change dramatically where before, it is a trend. Now, it became a lifestyle for most people. Coffee shops are now here to stay to fulfill everyone’s caffeine needs. Teas included.

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Before I end this so-called article of mine, let me share you what I just saw. A while ago, there is this young woman in a very sexy and almost provocative clothing sitting next to me in a another table. She borrowed my lighter and after that, we are sharing a table right now. Oh I just love hanging out in coffee shops!

Friday, December 16, 2005

The first A

This is my first paperwork for my Rizal course this term. I'm gonna post it coz I was so proud of it. I never expected that it'll get a grade of 98 (I was even thinking a grade of 80 here).

A reflection on Rizal’s poem, “To My Fellow Children”

Rizal’s poem put emphasis on two things - The language, and the youth. You might not see exactly the emphasis on the youth if you will read it line by line only. One will have a hard time interpreting it, if he will read it between the lines. I too found myself to be in what I so called a dilemma. For me to understand the poem, I had made three questions. 1) To whom did he dedicate this poem? 2) What caused him to write such poem? 3) Why did he make such poem? To answer these questions, we have to analyze the poem. We also have to know the situation at Rizal’s time.

As I said earlier, Rizal focuses on two things here - The importance of the youth, and the language. He believed that the youth is the core factor of building a nation and the foundation of a society. Rizal believes that the youth needs to be socially aware and opens their minds to different ideologies, and especially giving them the importance of having a language and loving it. I read the poem many times before concluding that he dedicated it to the youth and the language. Giving emphasis about the importance of having a language, but having respect and loving it. Here, I see the Rizal made the poem because he sees that a lack of respect and love for their own language is one thing that divides each of the Filipinos at that time. He sees fellow fellow citizens lacking the appreciation and love for their own language and thus loosing their identity. He made such poem to address this situation at his time. Making the poem a tool for opening the Filipinos minds of having one language, having an identity of their own. Moreover, not just by accepting that the Spaniards calls them Indios.

The statement “Ang Hindi Magmahal sa sariling wika/salita ay higit pa sa malansang isda” still makes sense this day. Even in this age of globalization. We still have to adhere to our own language. Our own language is our passport to different culture, and the passport of the different cultures to us. We should never abandon our national language. As I said before, loosing it means also loosing our identity. Our own cultural awareness and love for out nation. Globalization does not mean to abandon our language, but to love it more and give importance to it. English is really an international medium of communication. However, never it should be the national medium of communication. It develops the country, yes, but we should also put into fact that besides our own country, China was such a powerful nation without the love and admiration for English. Therefore, as Japan, where culture and language are the key factors for them to be successful. Two good examples of a nation loving and keeping their own language, and thus succeeding in the global market and trade.

We can be globally competitive without abandoning our language. Heck, we should be more successful in terms of communication since we are better English speakers that the two countries I have mentioned. These countries are developing a bilingual or even multilingual individual that helps them grow in terms of dominating the global market and acquiring newer technologies. Far better than ours (I’m very sad to say this but, even if we are directly connected to United States in terms of technological partnerships. China and Japan are far ahead of us). How do you think China got the big deal from Nike in shoe manufacturing? On the other hand, how about Japan dominating the video game consoles like Nintendo, and the Sony Playstation? Moreover, driving the Americans crazy by making and releasing the Microsoft Xbox to counter the so-called Imperial domination? (Should I go on with the TV and other multi media devices?) The sad point is that we speak far better English than they do. It disheartens me that we should be the ones having the success of these two countries are enjoying now. Nevertheless, because of the government just only focusing on the development of the English language for the sake of getting more nurses to United States and other jobs overseas. It truly disappoints me on how “they” or we only think of us to be just having a blue color job over foreign soil. Have we already lost our love for our language? Have lost our identity? Should we really sacrifice this for the sake of success, wealth, and just to get out of the slums?

Abandoning our own language means suicide. Loosing our identity is the door to insanity and chaos. How can we develop English speaking Filipinos when we do not even develop and love our own language? Such hypocrisy makes me that we are competitive because we are good English speakers makes me on my own soil. Rage flows in my blood as I see that these so-called English speakers just having a blue-collar job overseas and just landing in a call center job here in our own country. (I have nothing against the people who work in a call center. I just hate the people who run those businesses. Such crab mentality dominates their senses) The cancer is in us. We ourselves abandon our own language in the knowledge that English is our answer for our misfortunes. Stand up and have an identity young man. Be proud to say that you speak in your own tongue, not by the tongue of others. And with this let me say in my own tongue “Dumadaloy sa akin, ang kamalayan ng isang nasyong matagal nang nahihimlay sa bangungot ng ibang sibilisasyon.”

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Artistic in Baguio

One of the poems I made when I was in Baguio for a vacation. I was hanging out in starbucks there in SM Baguio (which is a cool place by the way). I made this one August 27, 2005 around 5:25 pm.

Chemically Abused

Every night I long for thee
Thy addiction shall never cease
Blistering effects is under this skin
Such addiction drives me to insanity

I've tried the forbidden
I kept for longing something that wasn't meant to be
Something that was so wrong

I'm addicted to thy blissful taste
Of love and misery
To someone unworthy of me

I'm addicted to thy lustful smile
Such sparkling eyes gives me such delight
Time moves slow
With every moment I take
Such dosage that was never meant to take

I'm abused to an awful substance
Each elements of addiction falls me apart
Numbness is temporary
Such bliss ends up in unexplainable misery

I'm an addict for thy love
Such addiction I can't let go
Withdraw this syndromes seem to be impossible
It kills my inner self
I'm such an addict with no integrity left

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Farewell...

A poem I made as a sign for me moving on. I made it around September 2005, when I was back in school.

Huling Paalam


Tapusin na ang lahat
Ang nadaramang sakit na tila walang katapusan
Mga tulay patungo sayo'y di na pwedeng tawiran
Tila di ka na maabot ng kahit nino man

Wakasan na natin ang pagkukunwari
Tawanan na lang natin ang bawat pagkakamali
Ang dahilan kung bakit tayo'y naging sawi
Nakita na natin sa ating mga mata
Na tayo ay di na masaya

Ako'y magpapaalam na
Sa bawat alaala na ika'y kasama
Kakalimutan ang ligaya't pighati na aking nadarama
Tatangapin ang katotohanan na tayo ay hindi para sa isa't-isa

Ito na ang aking huling paalam
Iisipin ko no lamang na ito ay isang bangungot
Paalam na mahal ko
Sana ay maramdaman mo
Ang pagluluksa ng puso ko

Friday, December 09, 2005

Too much political angst

I just got zapped one way or another. Thanks for too much Dictal License in my MP3 player. I just suddenly felt to write and do another poem. This time, its more of like a social awareness thing.

Pag-babago

Bakit nga ba ganito ang himig ng musika?
Palagi na lang ba ito ang patutugtugin mo para sa madla?
Hindi ka na nakakatawa
Hindi na tama ang mga ginagawa mong pangungutya
Kailangan nang wakasan ang mga baluktot mong paniniwala

Paniniwala ng tao’y iyong binalutan ng kasinungalingan
Pawang mga pangako mo’y nilibing mo na
Kasama ang kanilang mga pangarap
Wala ka bang napapansin?
Ang pagbabago ang kailangan

Sinisigaw ng bawat uhaw sa katotohanan
Na ika’y lumisan sa iyong palaysong binabahayan ng kasakiman
Ang pagbabago sa lipunan ang minimithi
Di lang para sa kanilang kapakanan
Ngunit para sa lahat ng nakakarami

Puso ay nag aalab na
Bawat pagkilos ang nangyayari na
Panahon na para mag bago
Bumangon para sa makabagong paraan
Para sa sistemang wala nang kabuluhan

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Shitty days

I just feel out of focus lately. For some unknown reasons I got this feeling I suck. Errr...

Withering Dreams

The pale moonlight touches my soul
As it tries to cleanse me
Of my pain, of my impulsive actions
Such course makes recoil
A reaction I never meant to be
Such anger keeps me away
And now my dreams are withering away

Fading away is a term too lame
Falling out of love is too common
But holding on is something I always do
I keep on falling for you
But still
My dreams are withering away

Gone are the facts that I'm only human
Who make mistakes, who take actions without thinking
Just let my emotions burst, is all I care
Never thought someone will be hurt in the process
I never thought my dreams are all withering away

Such dreams I always cling to
As my hope for survival
As my guide for me to get into you
But it's my entire fault
And now my dreams are all withering away
You are one of my dreams
And you are withering away

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Testing tesing...

This blog will serve to be as my art blog (whatever you call it). I'll share my photos, poems, or even so essays or prose. Also about music. CD reviews, Sharing my ideas about a certain band/artist. I'm just new to photography (started around March, 2005) and poetry (around July, 2005) I started to appreciate music more when I went to gigs and buy CDs and listen to them over and over for a week or two. Well, let's get it on now!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Last Post

I will now bid goodbye to my blog here in friendster. I will surely miss the good, the bad, and the worst times we had shared. Though I keep on editing and deleting some of my post due to some unavoidable circumstances. It's not that this blog is no longer of my service. But I need to move on, to let the wounds be healed. Face a new chapter of my life. And to finally host my blogs to a site where I can call it "home". Yeah, this may sound melancholic or something but then I was attached to this blog. It's been a witness to a lot of things that happened to me since I started posting my thoughts and whatever is happening to me. Like I said, it's time to move on. You can go to my new blog and check everything out there. It took me months to figure out everything. I transferred all my post from this blog to my new home. See yah there!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Brooding again for nothing

I'm all alone in my room again. My yaya Ate Edel or my younger sister Cheng will go to my room to either get some stuff or my sis will check her e-mails and her Friendster account. But today, it was way different. I was all alone in my room. Nothing to do, but just to brood myself. I need a savior! Can somebody call me quick! Well what can I do now. I've been doing nothing the past 2 hours already. I decided to edit my drafts or delete some of them. Publish my drafts and well, have a little chat over mIRC. It was a good thing the chat room I used to go 3-4 years back was open again. I saw some old friends and of course meeting new one. Good thing these guys make me laugh for a while. Especially with what I'm going through lately. Geez! Can somebody stop this predicament before I kill myself?!? (",) Oh well, shit happens. Wait, if shit happens, does it mean we let these things happen to us? Weird. On to chatting. Got some stupid girl talking about anything but definitely she was talking stupid things in the chat room. My friend told me that one of the fellow chat mates are really pissed at her. She was beautiful, thanks to Friendster, we saw her pic. I just told my friend "Sayang pare. Maganda siya, kaso ang tanga naman!" Well, such a waste! Marvin called today. Asking me if I can drop by his place and just kill them with him. Nice! Finally my savior! On my way to Marvin! Better get ready. I bet he knew what's going on to me. He just lives a block away from my so called significant other. Well, he's been my closest buddy ever since. So I guess I have to let him know what's going on to me now. One time big time outburst of emotions. This time no boundaries, no holds barred outburst. I'll let this thing go out right now. I don't care if this will mean I'll be in deep shit. I just have to let this out to some one who can comprehend the hell I'm talking about. Details later guys!

And I smell tears and Red Horse right now.

Starbucks Session series 8

Final installment to the Starbucks Session. I was really amazed with myself. 8 poems in just one sitting and over a tall caffe latte! Oh well, more Starbucks Sessions soon! Wait for the part II!

Last Breath

Nothing in the world can't bring you back
It's your last breath
This will be my last breath

Sadness fills the life of the powerless
Such madness tends me to be lifeless
Now it ends in a high note
As I breathe my last breath

Show me your true colors
Hide me in your beauty filled with deceit
Show me the road to sanity
As I exhale my last breath

Starbucks Session series 7

One of my abstract poems (Well, the way I call it). Part 7 of 8.

Broken Glass

I picked up the pieces
See the cut
Feel the pain
Wait and bleed
Scarred for an eternity
No sign of relief
Deep wounds of torment
Broken limbs of sorrow
So truamatic
Put me in a such cosmic disbelief
Maybe karmic

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Baby Boy version 1.1

I'm back again to my personal blog! I'm just done updating my Art Blog. Now it's time to go back to my personal blog to update, and also to record what's been going on to my so called "great" life. I've publish my long list of May posts. (More to come) And I have no idea if I'm gonna update and publish my June and July (The happiest and saddest month in my life so far) posts since I have to do edit the whole drafts due to some unavoidable circumstances. Yes, a lot of things had happened. Good times, the bad, and the worst. Am I to blame? Partly yes, but still, this is me. And part of me is to do some journal and blogging. My journal is nothing compared to The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter series, since mine is already in book 8 and book 9 is on the process. I even put my poems to a separate journal so it'll be organized. I feel so down right now, so fucked up. But as I said to one of my poems, I have to embrace the reality of life as a bittersweet. I need to stand up again. Never show pain, as I must show it only to myself. I don't need sympathy, I'm not even selling my drama. But some people I just felt like I stepped into them and made them so miserable that they are like shattered glass that can't be brought back to pieces. Even if they will be put back together, scars will be there. Wounds may be healed but the scars of torment will stay in me and to them forever. I do apologize for whatsoever reasons had happened. But then no compromise has been made. And such on the spot decisions are blinded with anger. So I can't argue with that. I never felt freedom, though yes, I am free now. But not the absolute freedom that I felt before. Things are need to be cleared and demand an explanation. But then again, who Am I to demand? My rights, no my privilege are already taken away. Now all I have to do is to stand up again and face the fact that for now, I'm all alone again. No one to share the moments, no one to share the joy, the suffering, the hurt, the excitement, and the achievements that I'm achieving right now with my photos and poems. Am I in vain? No, absolutely not. But this will be my last post where all the pains, frustrations, questions, and sufferings inside me will be shown. I have to let go of my old self where I gave up everything and end up with nothing. Where I keep on thinking but no one ever thinks of me. I don't care if people will judge me for who I am, and for what I've done. I'm willing to face the consequences of my decisions. But listen to me: "This is me and no one will ever change that! Am I ranting? Yes I am.And I do appreciate the people who had and who keeps on withstanding my rants and raves. I now understand that friends will be there for you, whoever you are, as long as they understand and know who you really are. Did I made a wrong move in my life? No, since I let these things happen. But then, my impulsiveness takes into action 80% of the time, so sometimes I act and I think after the action is done. So people hear me: This is me, whatever I do and write on this blog, I write in in my journal in a more excruciating detail. And with this kind of persona in me, no one can change that. Live with it or just understand, no respect me on my blogging and journal making side of me. As of now, I'll be doing a total make over of my personal blog. Some drafts need to be edited. Some details need to be removed. For the sake of moving on and to avoid some violent situations in the not so near future. I do welcome again myself to the realm of blogging. Give me the respect that what you think is due to me. But I beg you not to abuse the freedom I gave. Since this blog itself was the witness to my 2 months of blissful torments and sufferings. The same blog that made me free but left me shattered and unwilling to be put back again. I'll be leaving the shattered me on the ground. Wait for the gust of wind to blow it away. As I'll be having a new identity, no a new disposition in life. A more carefree, and transparent me. I'll keep on ranting till my heart's desire. But I will never step over other people's life, just to put it in misery. To everyone, my deepest apology for not to updating my blog. Certain things had happened that it left me immobile for a while and focused instead on my art blog just to let out the angst. This will be all for now. See you tomorrow, and enjoy the rest of your week. For me, back to the drawing board, and plan to redo myself.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Starbucks Session series 6

Buried With Lies

My senses fail
As I try to differentiate fact from fiction
Still I can't negate
Such disturbance inside of me
As I slowly die
Buried with lies

Every word you say
I try to understand beyond my wisdom
But you've failed to cover your tracks
Now I face such facts that scours my soul
Truth really hurts
And I'm buried with lies

You have deceived me with your silver tongue
I despise you for holding me back
I bestowed my trust in you
Yet you buried me with lies

No room to breathe
Darkness fills my coffin
Death puts me in an eternal slumber
As I rot in bitterness and disbelief
I finally rest in peace
Buried with lies

Starbucks Session series 5

Tormented Soul

Stranded somewhere
I'm nowhere to be found
Uncertain on how I feel

Lost in a portrait
As I cling to every memories
Of you filled with binding agony
Sleep bring relief
With every hope of a new day
But I wake in a misery of being without you

Surrender
I give in
Another moment
Is another eternity of sorrow

In sorrow
I speak your name
And my voice mirrors
My tormented soul

Seek me for comfort
Call me for solace
I'll be waiting for the end of my broken heart

But my torment still clings to me
As it defies my soul to the abyss
Shattered and torn into pieces
I can't let go of the misery life has brought me
Tormented soul is all left in me

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Starbucks Session series 4

Part 4 of 8. I just love remembering that day doing on the spot poems. Such emotions I let go inside of me

My Eyes Burn

My eyes burn
With every photograph
Every picture of you engulfs me in flames
I cried my heart out
Please hear me out
But my plea falls on your deaf ears

Take it all away
Don't lead me back to you
Please, just go away
And don't cry as I fade away

My eyes burn
With every places that I see
And every faces that I meet
Such excruciating pain I feel
As it defies the existence of me

My eyes burn
With every photograph
As it reminds me of our yesterday

My eyes burn
As you fade away
And now you're gone
My eyes are burned with hatred
And now I'm upside down

Take it all away
I won't be longing for you
Go away and be gone
And now you cry
As I let go

Starbucks Session series 3

Part 3 of 8 of the poems I made. 8 on the spot poems that day?!? I just can't believe that I made such stuff in just one sitting over a tall size of caffe latte.


Music Man

Hey music man!
Make a song for me
Make me a happy soul as you strum a note
Just don't leave tears in my eyes like the way you sing our song now

Keep me sane with you melody
Find a note that suits me
Just keep the song you made for you and me

Keep your song safe
As it's about you and me
Never change the tempo
Because I don't want to be left behind

Divert your anger with every bang of the drum
Don't mend your soul with a distorted sound
Amplify your senses with every riff of life
Just don't let your passion die on such an entropic sound

Hey music man!
Sing our song for eternity
As I grasp every words you exhale
with my deepest sincerity

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Starbucks Session series 2

And this is part 2 of 8 of the poems I made at Starbucks Araneta Coliseum. I don't know if most poets are like this but I was just curious if they made a composition in a whole day. If they still edit it after they are done with it. I just find it odd for me to keep on writing non stop. Oh well here it goes.


The Dance of Ones and Zeroes

Here I am again
Waiting in vain for an answer
Such riddle kills my brain
As it diabolically eats up my soul
And I dance with ones and zeroes

In a drunken state of mind
What a predicament to be aggravated
Nothing is left of me
But pain and a never ending misery
And I dance with ones and zeroes

Such outburst I can't control
Mind over matter is so unexplainable
My justification she can't comprehend
And I was left in the middle of nowhere
I still dance with ones and zeroes

Friday, July 29, 2005

Starbucks Session series 1

As I said, here are my poems that I made when I was in Starbucks lat 07/22/2005. As I was waiting for my friend Anna and at the same time was too early at the meeting place, I just decided to do some on the spot poem. So here goes the first one.


Kwarto

Nandito ako sa aking kwarto
Maglilinis ng gamit na dala ay poot at galit
Mga kahapong di na mapagtanto
Dahil sa liwanag na di na maitamo nito<

Mga damit na dama ang pasakit
Mga panyo na tinuluan ng luha
Na puno ng pighati

Kailangan ko nang iwan ang kahapon
Sumulong kung saan man tutungo
Dala ko'y mga sugat na aking natamo

Mga ala-ala na nakatabi sa isang sulok
Puno ng alikabok dahil sa sobrang lungok
Mga litratong unti-unti kong inipon
Naka kahon na at parte na lang siya ng isang masayang kahapon

Kailangan ko nang lisanin ang kahapon
Bahala na kung saan ako patungo
Wag lang ulit sa kwarto kong kay lungkot

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Remembering the Macro fever

I was remembering the what a nice Friday I had last week. (07/22/2005) One of the rare Fridays where I find myself a little bit ok and enjoying the day, No, it's not that I hate that day, but the fact that most of my Fridays ruins my weekend. Oh well I had a good one since I was so into the Macro feature in my digital camera. I knew about macro. But I never though that my camera is offering a mode called Super Macro where you can get as close as an inch away from your camera lens to your subject. Well it's the same as the Macro mode in most digital camera models but this one is different since it is not in the dial knob but just an additional feature. Golden rule: Read the freakin manual! So as I'm havin fun with my new discovery of the Super Macro mode, I was about to meet my friend Anna. Since I had a stressful week, I decided that seeing this friend of mine won't hurt and maybe watch a couple of movies. Main plan is to just have fun! As I was around 4 hours early of the said time that we'll meet, I decided to spent the next 4 hours at Starbucks and make some poems. And I did some poems. (I'll show them next time) I made 8 of them. 8 poems all of them on the spot in just a day. So I took a photo of my Journal - cum - Poetry notebook. And when Anna saw it, she liked it and even told me to upload it as a photo of my blog. Nice idea Anna! So here are the pics of the Flowers that I took in Super Macro mode and the said notebook I'm using right now as my photo for my blog.
========================================================================

And by the way, Anna like the flowers I took. More reasons to continue photography! Yeah Boy!


Img_2158
I took this photo on my way to meet my friend Anna. I saw this beautiful flower at the other end of the Marunong St. where I live. (taken on 07/22/2005)

Img_2166
Another one I took inside the garden of Gateway mall in Cubao. As I was killing time since I arrived at our meeting place too early. 4 hours early to be exact. Well time to take some photos right?

Img_2177
Taken at Starbucks in Araneta Coliseum. As I was done with my 5Th poem and on my way to the 6Th one. As I was thinking  on what to right, I was just surprised with the way the pencil was over my journal. Then I just imagined the whole thing in Black and White. So I just took the camera took a shot and boom! A nice pic. Anna liked it. She even gave me the idea to use this photo for my blog. Nice!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I'm back!

Finally after more than a week of not having an internet connection. I'm back again to the digital world of blogging, archiving, and ranting! Too many things happened. I've met my friend Anna and watched the movie The Island. (It reminds me of Downtown LA which I miss so much!) Made 8 on the spot poems at Starbucks in Araneta Center since I was too early at the meeting place. Went home to Bulacan and spent the whole weekend there so I can have time with my "kababata" and also so I can detoxify myself with whatever I'm going through or so I thought. Just got back to Quezon City from Bulacan last Monday and went straight ahead to Marvin and talked to someone about certain things. A little bit jolted with the things going right now. Spent the night at Marvin's till the next day and went home around 4 pm already. As I arrived I saw the DSL modem and only one LED indicator where it says "Ready" was blinking solid green. Nice! Internet connection is back again. So I'm back from the grave! Or so I thought. Seesh. I just feel numb right now. More post tomorrow.

Monday, July 18, 2005

On a hiatus

I'm currently shutting down my blogs (Both my personal and art blogs) and also my phlog (My online portforlio) due to the fact that I'm experiencing technical problems with my DSL connection (Puta! Pati yung linya ng telepono ko di na gumagana! Bad trip! Ayusin niyo to Bayantel!) Currently as of now all drafts won't be publish in all blogs. I'll see you after my blog hibernation.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Photography Sessions at Gateway and 11th Avenue

Went to Marvin's to have some basketball session again. After that me, Marvin, and his brother Mark went to Ali Mall for some food tripping at Chowking. Went around Araneta Center that time and Marvin's brother knew that I'm into photography. (Marvin knew I've been doing this since I was in LA.) So while were passing the entrance of Gateway mall, Mark just suddenly blurted out, "Ang gandang kunan ng mga ilaw o!" Just my luck! I have my digital camera with me and took the chance of taking photos at the said entrance. I had a couple of shots made. One is in auto mode where the lights are stable and bright. I set my camera to my customized settings and made some slight movements and there you go. My photo turned to be a little blurry. (That's the catch there dodo!) Well, I took photos around the mall and I was just struck with the lights surrounding the Araneta center. Went home after that and I just started to take more photos. Marvin took some photos too. Never thought that he'll be that interested or he just want to take some photos. But then he told me that didn't know on how to operate the camera and he just showed me some of the photos he took. I was just surprised! If what he said was true, well all of the photos he took were awesome! Nice shots! And not bad for someone who don't know what he's doing with the camera. Well here are some samples since I'm almost going to reach my friendster photo upload quoata (which is 50).

Img_1899 At the entrance of Gateway mall Araneta Center, Cubao 07/16/05

Img_1919 At the entrance of Araneta Coliseum. I just love the light! Neon glow baby!

Img_1924 Infront of Araneta Coliseum. I was addicted with lights that night!

Img_1943 Taken by Marvin at 11Th Avenue, Cubao 07/17/05. Way to go Marv!

Img_1948 Taken again by Marvin. In Black and White plus the motion blur. Nicely done!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Artsy Fartsy

Well, back to my poems. Tama na muna ang drama sa buhay at medyo pumapangit na ang mga kulay nito (ng aking buhay that is!) oh well, here's something that will inspire me as I try to go on with my everyday shits.


Stand, Grip, amd Throw

Time stands still
As I'm in a abyssmal state of mind
Thinking how life is full of mysteries
As you walk your way through and discover each one of them

Such joy
Such love
Such pain
Such sadness

But life is all that something you dictate
It's not life who will dictate you
Such freedom you long for
And also the same freedom you abuse

You've failed
You've fallen apart
You've felt such binding agony
And the scars that stays for a lifetime

But there is one thing that keeps you holding on
The reality that you will always be you
No world can change that, no realm can define who you are...
Only you
And you stand, grip, and throw

Fell free to fall, and stand up after that
Fell the pain, and love the things around you
Risk is such an unwilling word, but it is for you to take
Feel free to roam wherever you want to be
Just stand, grip, and throw

Embrace your life, not the life of others
You just share it with them, but never give it to them
Stand still, believe what you believe in
Fight for who you are, let your existence be known
Embrace your life, as it is you alone who can see the reality of it

Stand for yourself...
Grip to the reality about you...
And throw everything you doubt and fear...
Just stand, grip, and throw

Friday, July 15, 2005

8 Months of total bliss

Oh well. Another on the spot poem shit. So bahala na. Kayo na lang ang humusga. I just feel a bit loosen up outside, but a bit tighter inside. Asus! Labows....

Sands of Time

Holding still as I grip into the unknown
Roamed everywhere to find for something I've been longing for
Still I suffer as my world is covered in darkness
And only the sands of time will know
When this story will end

I've tried to stand over and over again
But I keep on sinking
As I'm traped in such a situation
Where it's either I let go
Or choose death
And only the sands of time will know
The answer to all of my questions

Why am I feeling such pain?
Why am I feel so tormented with ever memory that clings to my soul
As it sucks out every integrity left in me
Such binding agony I bear in me
And only the sands of time will know
When this tragedy will end

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Under the effect of blankness

I tried to force myself to made a poem again. It's been 2 days since I feel my brain doesn't process any logic for me. Oh well, these are the days when I totally suck. I can't upload pictures now since I've already reached the quota. I'd rather make another poem. When I was finished at the poem, I just find it to suck big time! Oh well, some poets sucks at some of their works aren't they? So here's sucky poem now.

My Bad

For all the shit I do
Sorry but my bad
For all of my mistakes
Sorry but my bad
For all the things I gamble
Sorry but my bad

Ah! Such life is a game
You win it fair and square
But losing it is so unfair
But sorry, my bad

All actions I'm willing to risk
Such risk I'm willing to take
Now it's too late to change
And all I blame is myself

But my bad
This is me, and me can't change
All that I'll ever be, will always be me

My bad for everything you think is wrong
But seems right for me

My bad if our world collides
Reality is there was a thin line between you and me
That each of us cannot cross
We just need to respect it and understand it
But my bad I never explained it to you

Just my bad for all...

Totally Blank Part II

These are the times when my mind is totally blank. Nothing comes into my mind. Nothing registers. I can't comprehend. I tend to type the things in my head right now. But believe me. I have no idea where this post is going. I mean, I just have no idea on how to control my impulsiveness whenever I feel blank. Or does my mind really feel blank at all? Or am I just exaggerating things to the point that my mind is not really blank but too many things are in my head that I'm denying myself that more and more thoughts and emotions are passing through me that it made me fall around my world? See, I told you my mind is blank. Pffft!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Totally Blank

I just don't feel like doing anything today. Even if I do, I won't be able to remember it since my mind is not in it's usual self. I'm totally blank. Ganito o .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Plaigarism if that's what you think!

I made another on the spot poem. This time I was all bored out of editing my old poems I made years ago. Where the ones I made are completely out of the way. I mean the poem is a total mess. No heart in it. So I'd rather made a new one than spend the day editing it. Well as I was making this on the spot poem thing I was just inspired by Wolfgang's She is My Cain song coming from their Acoustica Album. (Released last 2001) Ok, I'm gonna admit that some lines came from the song but then I don't think this is a plagarism. Well since I made the 95% of the lines here. You be the judge. Here's the poem.


She is My Cain

She is my life
She if my love
She is my hope
She is my world
Her domain where I can be whoever I want to be

I can't explain
It is so plain
She is my Cain

She is my light
She is my sanctuary
She is my day and night
She is my eyes
Her view is such a blissful sight

I can't explain
So unreal, so unexplainable
She is my Cain

She is my fervor
She is my bliss
She is my plush
She is my lust
Everything I need is in her, but everything she needs, is not in me

I can't explain
Why my life is mysteriously blurry
And she is my Cain

She is my vain
She is my pain
She is my scar
She is my fear
I was betrayed by my blindness and foolishness. I want it to end

Now I know
What she means to me
She is my Cain

Friday, July 08, 2005

Claret and Quezon Memorial Circle adventures

Got nothing to the whole day. So I planned to go out and take some photos, instead of to brood myself here in my room the whole day. I always want to go to Quiapo or those urban slums but I'm too chickened out to bring my digital camera there. So I'm stuck walking within the vicinity of Claret church and the Quezon Memorial Circle. Here are the samples.

Img_1669Img_1702Img_1694Img_1708 All were taken at Claret church.


Img_1719Img_1726Img_1732Img_1738
Img_1757 All were taken at Quezon Memorial Circle.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Nothing to do...

This are the times when your mind is blank. As in totally not thinking of anything or nothing is coming in or out of it. Maybe it's just because I was thinking too much already. Damn! It's been weeks or two that I've been thinking about this. We should talk, yes we should. I'll say my side and she should clear hers, coz definitely, I'm so mad at this set up now. But enough of that. I should be doing this in my personal blog (which I haven't updated for a long time now). Anyways, since I'm not doing anything I'd rather post something I got in the Bulletin board a while ago. Again, just blurting out.


1. Who are you with right now?
-- None. Just alone, here in my room.

2. What are you doing right now?
-- Posting my blogs, sound trip

3. What will you do after?
-- Go to my bed. Take my medicine since I still feel sick!

4. What are you thinking right now?
-- Should I stay or should I go?


5. What are you wearing now?
-- Shorts. Only shorts.


6. How do you feel right now?
-- Definitely not OK, Most probably confuse.

7. Why?
-- Cuz of some problems that seems to be solved and should be forgotten but are happening again.

8. Chocolate or
Vanilla Ice Cream?
-- Vanilla.

9. Sponge Bob or Mojacko?
-- Spongebob.

10. Enchanted Kingdom or Splash Island?
-- Enchanted Kingdom.

11. SMS
or talking on the phone?
-- Talking on the phone.

12. McDo or Jollibee?
-- Both!

13. Coffee or Milk?
- Coffee to wake me up, Milk for my cereals!

14. Sports:
-- Basketball and bowling.

15. Color(s):
-- Blue, yellow, green, and pink

16. Number(s):
- 2, 3, 21, and 23.

17. Food:
- Any variants of sisig and pizza, and Sinampalukang Manok.

18. Drink(s):
-- Iced tea, and anything from Kool-Aid.

19. Radio Station:
-- 89.9, 93.1, 107.5

20. Cartoon
Character:
-- Blastoise from Pokemon

21. Name of last
person you talked to on the phone?
-- Can't remember

22. Have you gone swimming this
year?
-- Nope, not yet.

23. When did you last receive a gift?
-- My birthday. I got the Tremulant EP of The Mars Volta from my cousin Chuck.

24. What are you planning to do this weekend?
-- None, just take a rest and brood myself in my room. Hopefully I can watch UAAP on Sunday.

25. Last movie you watched?
-- Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith with Marvs

26. What is/are your hobby/hobbies?
-- Music, collecting CDs, photography, poetry, anything about computers and electronic gadgets.

27. What is/are your ambition(s)?
-- Learn more about photography, be a photographer, study photography at New York, have my own business about multi-media arts from poetry, photography, to film making.


28. What makes you happy?
-- Taking photos, writing poems. These 2 fills the void in me. It keeps me sane.

29. What do you want to tell to someone but you haven't?
-- I don't like the way you're treating me now!


30. Do you have a crush?
-- Yep! Jessica Alba.

31. Do you believe in love?
-- uhuh...

32. Are you easily attracted to the opposite sex?
-- Not really.

33. Do you get jealous easily?
-- yes, very easily but I get jealous with a reason, not just gut feeling.

34. Any people in-love with you right now?
-- Before yes, now, that I do not know. sob....

35. Want to get married?
-- who wouldn't?

36. Ever did something unusual for love?
-- yes

37. What do you notice first in a person?
-- what he/she wearing.

38. Last person you fell in-love with or currently in love with?
-- Someone with a name that starts with a T.

39. Are you missing someone right now?
-- Heck yeah! I miss my usual self. Only my usual self and nobody else!

40. What do you miss?
-- My usual self.

41. Who do you want to hug right now?
-- just myself again.

42. Persons you want to spend the rest of your life?
-- If ever she's reading this: I love you dearly. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But the way things are going on between the two of us, it seems like you're fading away. I'm thinking of you but are you thinking of me? I'm trying to hold on as much as I can, even exceed my limit. But the way things are going on right now, I'm suddenly slipping away as you're fading away to me. I gave everything to you not expecting something in return, but just simply for you to love me back. Now everything seems to be in the dark. It's time for me to leave something for myself. I did everything I can to please you and I love you more than anyone else. I just wish that you'll be here with me, till my last breath. I just hope.... I just wish.... I just pray....

Sunday, July 03, 2005

The void in me

As I was updating my Phlog, I was looking at my archive of photos and I just can't believe that I already have 1,221 photos in my archives (almost 1,000 since March of 2005 using my own digital camera)! And I saw some pics that I took, and it made me feel a certain void in me. It misses me something. here are the pics and the corressponding thing that I'm craving or missing so much right at this very moment:

Img_0990_2The Motorola RAZR V3. The phone I've been drooling for!
Img_0512My Adidas Superstar sneakers. I left it in Los Angeles since my baggages are overweight!
Img_0489Ocean Ave in Santa Monica. Just across of this avenue is the beach. I just love this place and the view of the sunset is oh so nice! So solemn, so peaceful.
Img_1342My sis b-day last June 9, 2005. It reminds me of birthday parties. I just miss attending b-day parties and have good time with friends and ofcourse make new friends!
Img_0706The seafood resturant at San Pedro harbor at California. I just love the seafoods there! And the way they cooked it: butter with spices and veggies! YUMMY!
Img_1296Spongebob Squarepants! I bought this one in Universal Studios in Hollywood, CA. I even got to versions of this. I just miss California.
Img_1260Bamboo's album launch at the Megastrip. Just miss the gimik days with friends. Damn how many gigs did I just let go? I even missed Fete dela Musique!
Img_1477My friendship anklets. My team mates/friends gave this to me. It's been more than a year now since I have them, and I'm not gonna remove them. I just miss my office mates! My friends!

I just hate it when there's a void in me.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Bittersweet Symphony

One of the poems I kept for years. I made this around March of 2004. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just writing poems for the
excitement of making one, or maybe because I'm suddenly inspired to make one,
or maybe as an outlet of my emotions. Whatever reasons I have, all I know is
that there's a certain feeling of emptiness that fades away. I feel my soul
rejuvenates every time I take a photo or make a poem. And for this specific
poem I made last year, it made me think that life is really a bittersweet
symphony. And yes, I will embrace and explore more about the artistic side in
me.



Bittersweet Symphony

I'm the maestro
My life is my opus
I compose every notes that comes out of it
I set the tempo
I set the mood
Every pace of my life is my own choice
But life is such a bittersweet
But I just have to let it flow

I'm the soprano
I'm the tenor
I sing my life to everyone
Play my masterpiece as if it's my last
But no one watches me, I play my opus alone
And life's a bittersweet
And sometimes I just can't let it go

I missed some notes
I made mistakes in every piece I made
But as time passes by
I adhere myself to reality
Though life is a bittersweet
It is my symphony I have to play
I must play it on my own, even if I'm alone
Even if nobody is watching, I must play it on my own
Life is a bittersweet symphony
I let the melody shine, as it cleanse my mind
As it made me feel free now

Life is a bittersweet symphony
I just let it play and go on
Until my last breath
Until I can say this is my "magnum opus"

Friday, July 01, 2005

Suicidal Tendencies

This song is the 2nd song that I've been playing, also for the nTh time. This song just zaps me back to reality and give me a better view of life. Not just as if giving up the fight, but it gives also something to hold more into. Something that is most dear to me, myself.


Soul Searching by Urbandub


Say a prayer for me
I need a new life
I'm not blind cuz I see the truth and lies.
Heed my words
Listen to advice
You don't need to run away and take your life.
No, can't live this way...

So you go for miles and miles
And miles and miles and miles
Destination nowhere
No means or how,
Saw you go for miles and miles
Soul searching, soul searching for how?

Just take a look around
At the faces that you meet
Everybody's got their own pains like you and me
Never fall away...

So you go for miles and miles
And miles and miles and miles
Destination nowhere
No means or how,
Saw you go for miles and miles
Soul searching, soul searching

Whatever you do choose life
The thoughts on you mind choose life
Wherever you go choose life
Choose life.

So you go for miles and miles
Destination nowhere
No means or how,
Saw you go for miles and miles
Soul searching, soul searching for how?

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Lason

Here goes another on the spot composition that I made. It's been weeks that I'm experiencing sleepless nights. Due to some emotions that keeps on bugging me. And also the fact that there are some questions in my head that are in dire need of answers.

Lason

Nung una kang makita
Nagtila kang anghel na gagabay sa akin
Nagmistulang tala sa gabi
Dala ng yong mga mata'y, walang kupas na kagandahan
Ako'y naakit, nabighani, at umibig sa iyo

Inalay ko ang pag-ibig ko
Ganun din ang sa iyo
Mundo nati'y pinag-isa
Habang ang ating pagmamahalan, ang naging apoy sa bawat gabing tayo ay magkasama
Mga gabi na tayo ay naglalakbay sa kawalan
Iniiwan natin ang reyalidad ng buhay
Lumilipad papalayo sa kabihasnan
Papunta sa paraisong ating inaasam

Ngunit ako'y nilisan na
Lumilipad na nag-iisa
Dama ang kalungkutan, at ang sumpa na habambuhay kong pasanin
Namumuhay sa dilim
Ako'y nahihilo sa kakahanap sa iyo
Ni anino mo'y di makita
Kahit ang iyong himig ay nawawala na
Sumasamba kay Bathala, na ikay ibalik sa mga bisig ko
At muling pasiklabin ang apoy, na dati ay nasa ating mga puso

Ngayon ay wala ka na
Dama ko'y galit at poot, habang ako ay nagdurusa
Nasasaktan sa bawat araw na wala ka
Bawat araw na lumilipas
Buhay ko'y unti-unting nawawalang ng saysay


Para kang lason
Hindi ko namamalayan na ika'y nakamamatay
Para kang lason
Hindi ko man lang naramdaman ang biglaan mong pag-daloy sa aking mga ugat

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Masaya

For the Nth time, this song (besides Urbandub's Soul Searching) just touches me. Every words in the song touched me like no other song did. Maybe this is the effect of such emotions that you feel in you. Just every lines in the song relates to my current state.

Masaya by Bamboo

Ako'y malungkot nanaman
Amoy chico na ako
Ilang tagay na hindi pa rin tulog
Tanong ko lang sa langit
Kung bakit pumangit

Nung dating masaya
Ngayo'y pana'y problemang bumabalot sa buto
Bakit ganito?

Ang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga
Pag bago pang pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga...
Masaya

Pag gising ko
Nakita ko si Juan
na siyang adik sa aming lugar

Parang droga raw ang bisa
Na ginamit niya kanina
Sa una lang daw...
Masarap

Ang pag-ibig ganyan talaga
Ako'y nilamon ng pag-ibig
Ganyan talaga...
Masaya.

Momon in the house!

Mon dropped by the house this afternoon. Finally! After so many days of telling me that he'll drop by, he finally did it. Well, can't blame the man, he's too busy with work and some stuff that needs to be fixed. Took a couple of shots of him using my PC:

Img_1532Img_1533

Then with these two pics I suddenly find the urge in me to find some photos of the 2 of us in my archive and well, just share it here. Just wanna show how "MON"-ster Mon is. To my dawg, to my beer buddy, to my shock absorber. This is for you bro! Much love!

Img_1031 Mon's tattoo (right arm)

Mons_tatto Mon's tattoo (left arm)

Img_1417 Doing the otso - otso.

Img_1418With his son Kalel.

Img_1472Crazy times at his pad.

Me_and_monCrazy times again at work.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Here in my room Part II

As boredom strucks me, and after playing "Masaya" by Bamboo for the nth time. I just decided to take a photo of myself, letting this depression/frustrations/confusion/paranoia/anger out of me. At least for a while. Here I'am again in my room. Showing how dark and gloomy I feel now. Here it goes:

Img_1522 Astro Cigarette!

Img_1528 Depression in solitude.

Img_1530 In one corner, confusion is the state of mind.

Img_1531 Paranoia leads to depression. Depression leads to confusion. Confusion leads to anger. Anger leads to paranoia. And the cycle goes on and on.

Note: I am not naked here. I was wearing my boxer shorts here.

Basketball

This is something that inspired me after playing a basketball tournament in Marvin's place at 11Th ave. in Cubao.

Basketball

From the very moment you hold the ball
You'll never pass me, unless you blew me away
Better pass it to your team mate
But if you do
I swear with my life I'll get it again and again

You can beat me up, let me eat dust
But that won't let me down
That won't let my soul cling to something you can't take away from me
The heart, the passion, and the hunger...
To succeed, to feel the glory, and gain the respect

I won't score
I'm no star player, play maker, or some key player
All I know is defense is my middle name
I call the shots
I'll block your shots
Don't block my way
Or you'll just pay with your dear life
Life for me is a ball
No one can change that
I'll do what I need to do
For me to get the respect
For me to be feared
For me to be known

Block
Rebound
Defense
All I know is that
I got game
Do you?

Monday, June 27, 2005

Fiesta!

Went to Marvin's place yesterday (6-26-2005). It's their fiesta that day. It's my 2nd year to go there. And it'll be my first time to play in their mini basketball tournament. I was there around 10am till afternoon the next day. I saw the midgets division play first. And with my digicam ready to take some pics here are the samples:


Img_1502Clutch time.

Img_1504 Post up play.

Img_1506Small but terrible.

I just love how this kids play. So young but they show a lot of potential. I wouldn't be shocked if they grow up and beat my ass in basketball.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I waited for the midget division to finish their game, I saw a parade passing by the other block. I went with Marvin to check it out since her mom is there. So I
grabbed again my camera and took whatever shots I can get:

Img_1509Img_1511Img_1514Img_1513Img_1512

Img_1510 And this is Marvin's mom in Filipiña.

I was in awe when I saw this parade since it I thought only in provinces do they celebrate a fiesta like this (well except for the one in San Juan). As we continue the said tournament. I, Mork, Ton-ton and
Rigor made up our team. We went 2-0 and went ahead to the finals. We really pushed ourselves hard and I did my defense mode again (a-la Ben Wallace) but then, we just broke down in the end losing the finals by 2 points. Such disappointment but everything so good that the disappointment went away. It was so much fun, it made me forget my problems at least. The kids there are already calling me SHAQ because of my size and maybe because on how I dominate the paint (I'm not really bragging here, but they gave me such compliment that I'll never forget), not offensively but defensively. I always think of myself as a defensive player. Yeah, I can score up to 10 points, 14 point if I got lucky. But what's on my head is that I need to shut down my opponent. Shut down my guard and don't allow him to score. Not even have an aim at the ring from the very moment he got the ball. Maybe a lot of people who just knew that day already watched me carefully (not bragging here again). I will always hear from my opponent this line: "Pare, bantayan mo mabuti, di ko mga malusutan, ang laki e!" I was so beaten up because of my hard defense (angas!), but it was all good from there. I went to my girl's place and spend some time there and went back to Marvin's place to have a drinking session. Maybe after this, I'll be in Marvin's place more often. Just to play some tough defense basketball and maybe just to kick some ass again. Hmmm... This inspires me again to write a poem about how I play basketball. Nice!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Here in my room

Just nothing to do. Nothing in my mind now. Not that "inspired" to do some poetry work and upload some photos. Well let's lighten up the mood with this:


Img_1488


Hahahaha! When you're all bored out, try to learn some new stuff!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Precious Declaration

I never imagined that I can make one on the spot. My favorite composition so far.


Precious Declaration

As the night embraces an eternity
My love for you reigns supreme
It'll never fade
It'll never die

Like a flower blooming in my withering garden
Who gives me life and hope
My light who guides me at my darkest hour
You disenchant me from all the enchantments
As you yourself enchants me with your beauty and serenity

I Adore Thee
I Love Thee

I'm expressing my plea
More than actions can show
And more than words can express

Hold me now
Never let go
Like the way I'm doing so
Come my love
Let's embrace the night and fly away with me
And let our love conquer all

My new room

Finally! I got a chance to clean my room! It's been more than 3 days now since I was cleaning and fixing my room. I threw a lot of stuff that I don't need anymore. Though I still need more space for my stuff (I'm already planning to buy a cabinet and lots of CD racks). I was so exhausted after I'm done cleaning my room. What a gruelling process. Well here's some snapshots of my room:

Img_1482 Do Not Disturb!






Img_1481 My workstation.






Img_1483 My PC and Stereo.






Img_1485 My book collection.






Img_1486 My CD collection.






Img_1487 My study table.